i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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