Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
