I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm too high and old for this...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
