Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
