Im at strip club and am horny
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
