who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
