i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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