My liver just broke up with me...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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