the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
