if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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