went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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