i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
