3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
not ubering you a puppy
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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