I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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