his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
