He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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