guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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