my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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