White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
