just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
