I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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