Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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