I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize