i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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