then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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