go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
