ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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