I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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