Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
