What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
