he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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