In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize