You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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