I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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