Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
