Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
