you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
this is an emotional support booty call
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
