so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
