Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
