Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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