he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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