just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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