Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
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