is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize