tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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