that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
