when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We left the knife in your bed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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