her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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