So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
