he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
