would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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