And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Walk of Shame today included voting.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
