Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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