Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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