I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am one with the molecules
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
