My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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