nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
