I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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