Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
