I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize