her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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