If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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