I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I had to cum in my sink.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
