Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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