When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Operation Purity has been aborted
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize